Continuously Challenge yourself!- By Shruti Nair

This is not a motivational article that pumps you up to do great things. This is written just to show you the mere benefits of consciously challenging oneself. Of course we take up challenging tasks in our day-to-day lives, it comes naturally as we are working and ‘growing’ constantly. I am talking about the planned, defined, out-of-comfort zone scenarios that we create for ourselves. For example, taking up that job that does not compliment your strengths, rather demands you develop your weaknesses; planning a trip alone to a random place or leaving your paid job to fulfill your dream of becoming an artist.

I took up one such challenge of going on a trip alone for a week to the mountains. As the person that I am, before leaving I researched all about the place, the safety measures, experiences of other travellers but in all this, I forgot to really sit and introspect (research) about myself. Now, when I reached my destination, on day one, I visited the places I had planned for the day, ate at the restaurants I’d read about and returned to my room before dark. Around midnight I decided to sleep but I couldn’t switch off from my alert zone. Around half past midnight, I realised I won’t be able to sleep at all. The silence that existed in the room was piercing, one such I have never heard before. The kind of silence that I experienced there, brings negative emotions in you, it engulfs you in it. The three nights i spent there, I didn’t sleep for a minute.

In this trip, i saw beautiful places and made great friends but the highlight of my trip was learning something about myself. I always had trouble sleeping alone in a room. It’s not that I’m scared of ghosts, I just feel really insecure in sleeping alone. But when I returned from the trip, I can sleep anywhere, peacefully. This trip solved a problem I had, I never realised I needed to work on.

Therefore I suggest, take up challenges! You never know what you learn about yourself! Taking up challenges have many benefits:

1) You will get out of your comfort zone.

We, as humans, are conditioned to seek out comfort. Therefore it is difficult to let go of things; but letting go of things mean taking up new things, which will always lead to growth. What is the point in living the same routine life day after day? On my trip, I was thrown completely out of my comfort zone. I had to meet and talk to people, which is not my dominant nature. This made me realise I am the way I am by choice and if needed, I can adapt.

2) You will become more creative

When you take up challenges, you are basically figuring out solutions to different problems. This will force you to think out of the box, broaden your perspectives on things. You will also become more confident with 

your decisions and views on things. When you travel alone, you have to figure out everything on your own, from simple directions to dealing with language barriers. This allows you to approach problems in various different ways.

3) You will increase your strengths and work on your weaknesses.

When is something challenging to you? When you can’t do something naturally, easily, it becomes a challenge. Continuously taking up challenging tasks mean you work on your weaknesses and increase the list of strengths you posses. I was never good with handling money or saving. Travelling alone requires me to save up for these trips and manage money during trips. I’m not great at it but I’m better than what I was!

4) You will never be bored.

Regardless to say, when you take up challenges, you start working on yourself. Challenges remove the mundane nature that life easily falls into. A person who takes up challenges will never complain of a boring 

routine life. My journeys are what I look forward to and they also account for great conversation starters with people meet!

For me, going solo travelling is the way of challenging myself. How are you going to continuously challenge yourself?

TO MA’AM, WITH LOVE - By Latika Kaul

“Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your ears;

I come to bury Caesar, not to praise him.

The evil that men do lives after them;

The good is oft interred with their bones;

So let it be with Caesar.”

 Act III, Scene II, Julius Caesar by William Shakespeare

To this day, I get goose bumps when I hear or read these lines. The credit for this goes to a strong, dignified and fierce woman who commanded attention from the moment she entered a class. Mrs. Lakshmi Menon.

 The very first memory that I have of her is of terror as she screamed at our class for making noise during a free period. Fast forward to standard IX, she became our English teacher. And then everything changed. I changed. The fear disappeared, all that was left was immense amazement, respect and gratitude.

She taught us with such passion, fervour and enthusiasm that in every class we were transported to different worlds. She introduced us to Saki, Wodehouse, Frost, O. Henry, Keats, Tennyson, R. K Narayan and many more extraordinary writers and poets. She didn’t just teach us their stories and poems, she breathed life into them. She talked about the author’s lives and what must have led them to write their masterpieces.

And then there was Shakespeare. These were the classes I think everyone enjoyed the most. Julius Caesar was like a roller coaster ride with all its ups and downs. We hated Caesar for his arrogance and yet were left agonized over his brutal death. We initially looked up to Brutus, then despised him for scheming with Cassius and eventually pitied him for his nobility. Marc Antony, however, was a favorite amongst us all.

The defining moment that not only changed the plot in Shakespeare’s play but also in my life was Anthony’s funeral speech. It wouldn’t be wrong to say that Mrs. Menon was as good an orator as Shakespeare wrote Anthony to be.  

She not only taught us their stories but always inspired us to write our own. We were no longer kids who wrote boring essays, she saw us as adults who were capable and allowed to write romances, thrillers, horrors or the simple truths of our lives. Due to her encouragement many students began to write and share their work, including me. She always appreciated us, as well as helped us identify ways we could write better. For me, my first achievement in this field was when I received a 23 on 25 on my essay which was a story. Contrary to this, I got a zero in my letter writing for three term exams for making minor mistakes like adding an apostrophe, ‘s’ in, ‘yours’ or missing a comma somewhere. But thanks, to this I now know how to write a perfect formal letter. Before her classes I was not even remotely interested in reading, but like many other things, this too, changed. The very first book I read (in the actual sense of the word) was, ‘The Ambler Warning’ by Robert Ludlum and after that there was no turning back. 

One of my all-time favourite movie genres is of films depicting teacher- student relationships. Films like, Freedom Writers, Remember the Titans, Lean on me, Dead Poets Society and even Sister Act. These are films I can watch over and over again. As I was writing this article, I realized why I love these kind of films. It’s simply because I can relate to it. In all these films, the protagonist who is a teacher or a coach changes the lives of his or her students in ways that were unfathomable before. You might say that this only happens in films but I can assure you, it happens in real life too and I have experienced it first-hand. I have also heard people complain that gone are the days when teaching actually meant something, days when teachers whole-heartedly took interest in their student’s lives or even bothered to take interest in their subject.

While this could be true, let’s not forget that students on their part hardly remember, appreciate or respect their teachers.

The ultimate fact, however is that teachers have always been and will always be an integral part of any student’s life.

So, to all the teachers, I wish you a very happy teacher’s day and I hope that you realize what an immensely honorable responsibility it is to be a teacher. May you continue to mould impressionable minds and light the way for the future generations.

The Close interaction of Human Psychology and Music- by Shruti Nair

“Music is a world within itself, with a Language we all understand”

-Stevie Wonder

Music is a language we all know of, some speak, and others listen. We all have a specific genre we can relate to and resort to from time-to-time. Music is found in every culture, past and present, varying widely between time and space. People from all over the world, even the most isolated tribals have a form of music as a part of their culture. Hence, it is safe to conclude that music has been a part of human history ever since it’s existence or maybe even before that. Music portrays sides of human psychology we all can relate to. Read the following fun facts of music and psychology.

1.)  What is the first musical instrument ever created?

Archaeologists suggest that the origin of music likely stems from naturally occurring sounds and rhythms and the first ever musical instrument was the human voice itself, which can make a vast array of sounds, from singing, humming and whistling through to clicking, coughing and yawning.


2.) Ever felt the chills down your spine after listening to a song?

A study by Nusbaum and Silvia(2010)  suggest that those who are high on the ‘Openness to Experience’ trait are likely to feel the most chills while listening to music. So, how powerful the effects of music are, depends on your personality and less on the music itself! People high in the ‘Openness to experience’ dimension also regard music as a very important part of their lives.


3.) Feeling down? Put on a good song and actively listen to it!

A research by Ferguson and Sheldon (2013) concluded that listening to upbeat music will lift your mood but only if you closely listen to the beats. Letting the music play in the background and wash over you will have no effects. Actively listening to a musical piece gives you the experience of emotional overwhelming because of the way the music is composed.


4.) Research conducted by psychologists Jason Rentfrow and Sam Gosling suggests that knowing the type of music you listen to can actually lead to surprisingly accurate predictions about your personality.

POP

Are your favourite sound tracks from Rhianna, Selena Gomez or Flo Rida?

Well, chances are you are extroverted, Honest and conventional. You are also hard working and have a high self-esteem. Research also suggests that coming up with out-of-the-box ideas aren’t your thing and you tend to be very restless.

Rap and Hip/Hop

Is Snoop Dog more of your style? People have a perception of Rap singers being high on aggressiveness when in reality there is no such thing. You are high on self esteem and almost always the life of the party.

Country

Do you listen to Bob Dylan or Taylor Swift? Country music listeners are typically hardworking, conventional and outgoing. While country songs are often centered on heartbreak, people who gravitate towards this genre tend to be emotionally very stable.

Rock/Heavy Metal

Are you worshipers of Iron Maiden or Lamb of God? Despite the sometimes aggressive image that rock music and heavy metal project, researchers found that fans of this style of music are usually quite gentle. They tend to be creative, but are often introverted and may suffer from low self-esteem.

Indie

Do you love seeking out obscure bands and indie artists? Fans of the indie genre are typically introverted, intellectual and creative. According to researchers, they also tend to be less hard-working and less gentle. Passivity, anxiousness and low self-esteem are other common personality characteristics.

Classical

Do you find yourself listening to more of Classical like Beatles? You are more introverted than the rest of them are at ease with the world around you. You also have a good sense of your own self esteem.

Jazz, Blues and Soul

Are the bands Weather Report or The Rolling Stones an integral part of your daily listening doses? People who enjoy jazz, blues or soul music were found to be more extraverted with high self-esteem. They also tend to be very creative, intelligent and at ease.


5.) What color do you see?


Across the world, people pair different types of colors with different genres of music.

In a research by Palmer et al. (2013) people across countries showed remarkable similarities in connecting duller, darker colors with sadder pieces of music and lighter, more vivid colors with happier music. Hence, you have the Blues!


6.) Did that song remind you of that person?

Music has a great impact on our visual memory. We associate music with the series of events that took place when we were most attentive to the song. Ever closed your eyes to a song and taken down memory lane? So, this effect of music is used as a tool in rehabilitation for stroke patients.

Next time you’re listening to your favourite song, think about what makes it your favourite one. You’re choice of music says a lot about you!

Happy 69th Independence Day India

E mere vatan ke logo,

jara aankh me bhar lo paani,

jo shahid hue hai unki, jara yaad karo kurbani...

This song was meant for those brave souls who fought for our freedom over sixty decades ago. Soldiers, revolutionaries, freedom fighters to whom we owe our freedom and to whom we shall always be indebted.

On the occasion of our 69^th Independence Day, we at Search 4 Excellence want to devote a few words to the incredible men who won us our freedom and to those who are protecting it to this day.

We salute all our heroes: Mahatma Gandhi, Pandit Jawahar Lal Nehru, Shaheed Bhagat Singh, Sukhdev, Rajguru, Bal Gangadhar Tilak and many more who won that Independence for us.

We are also be very grateful to Dr. B.R. Ambedkar, who made the Indian Constitution which describes our rights and duties and most importantly our freedom of expression.

We salute the inspiring and moving speech of our First Prime Minister Pandit Jawahar Lal Nehru.

“Long years ago we made a tryst with destiny, and now the time comes when we shall redeem our pledge, not wholly or in full measure, but very substantially. At the stroke of the midnight hour, when the world sleeps, India will awake to life and freedom. A moment comes, which comes but rarely in history, when we step out from the old to the new, when an age ends, and when the soul of a nation, long suppressed, finds utterance. It is fitting that at this solemn moment, we take the pledge of dedication to the service of India and her people and to the still larger cause of humanity.”

We salute the soldiers who fought the 1947/1948 war with Pakistan

 

We salute the soldiers who fought the 1962 Sino-Indian war with China

 We salute the soldiers who fought the 1965 war against Pakistan

We salute the soldiers who fought the 1971 war for the liberation of Bangladesh (East Pakistan then)

We salute the soldiers who fought the 1999 Kargil war

We salute the soldiers and men who protected us during the 25/11 Mumbai attacks

We salute the soldiers and men who protected us during the 2010 German Bakery attacks 

“and when all the wars are over, a butterfly will still be beautiful.” ― Ruskin Bond, Scenes from a Writer's Life

And so is India!! Still beautiful, still thriving, still developing and flourishing. And we hope, pray and firmly believe that we will continue down this path in the future so that the following vision of Rabindranath Tagore is fulfilled.

Where the mind is without fear and the head is held high
Where knowledge is free
Where the world has not been broken up into fragments
By narrow domestic walls
Where words come out from the depth of truth
Where tireless striving stretches its arms towards perfection
Where the clear stream of reason has not lost its way
Into the dreary desert sand of dead habit
Where the mind is led forward by thee
Into ever-widening thought and action
Into that heaven of freedom, my Father, let my country awake

Jai Hind Jai Bharat.

IT'S YOUR CHOICE- By Eva Chawla

Your life is a result of the choices you make. If you don’t like your life, it’s time to start making better choices because in the end, we only regret the choices we didn’t make.

Most people may disagree with or even reject the above statement. The idea that each person’s life is directly proportional to the choices they have made is not easily digested. Most of us feel life is completely fated or it’s only the lucky few who actually get to enjoy it. It’s this feeling that gives self-assurance that we are not to blame for our current situation and that we are just pawns in a never ending chess game. Well, in this brief blog I’m going to show you how your life is what you have made it and as you realize this you can take the necessary steps to change the outcomes of your future.

A friend of mine once told me, “it would be so wonderful if our life was like the movie ‘Zindagi Na Melaigi Dobara’” and I said “It can be if you choose it to be.” it’s a statement that shook him to the core of his being. He gave me a list of reasons why the choice is out of his hands: my parents, financial situations, sister’s marriage, starting a new business, obligations to others. Just like my friend we can all relate to these reasons and hence feel our life is not controlled by us. It is not uncommon for us to be a self-saboteur and compound that with a victim mentality; this is a choice we make as well. But let me tell you one thing, if we start making choices that benefit us along with others, we will start achieving pinnacles of success we never dreamed possible.

Let’s look at how we currently make choices: say we have an aggressive boss who is super negative and only likes the sound of his own voice. What would we do in this situation? What is the choice we make? Well for most of us the choice is not even a choice, we must continue to endure the cruelty of this bull of a boss. After enduring an entire day of unhappiness we go home only feeling distraught with work and life. The bottom line: if we hold our breath and then blame others of our inability to breath, the result is only us losing consciousness.

The simple fact is, life doesn’t get better by chance; it gets better by choice. So if you are unhappy about your boss, change the way you feel or the way you think or the place you are or the way you work or the work itself or try to build a relationship with the person who causes you discomfort. The world is our oyster, we can chose the number and type of pearls we wish to have. There is no clear cut answer to any problem; there is no clear cut choice; there is only what makes us happy and making good choices that support that feeling. Life is a Roller Coaster and through its ups and downs, we can either chose to scream or enjoy the ride.

Consider this: with Choice comes Freedom; with Freedom comes Responsibility and with Responsibility comes a Choice.  The choice is always in your hands and you alone carry the responsibility for your life. Do you want to live your life from where you were yesterday or from where you want to be tomorrow? Let’s use a simple model to aid us make better choices with no regrets and reclaim the life we truly want to live.

Every Action or Choice we make has a consequence and every consequence comes with both desired and undesired effects.

Let take an example: You and you colleague had joined your organization at the same time 2yrs back. Both of you are equally qualified, skilled and knowledgeable. Both of you want to grow fast in the organization. However only one of you can get a promotion. Your colleague (who is single), knowing this starts taking on more work and spending longer hours at the office to complete his new responsibilities. Now you have a choice: taking on more work like him or decide to go home on time for you family.

What would you do in this situation? If you decide to go home, because you family comes first, that is a choice you have made

Desired Effect: spending quality time with your family, we can have work life balance, life is not all about work, able to start fresh the next morning

Undesired Effect: your colleague gets a promotion faster than you.

Some of us will chose to go home and then complain when that colleague gets promoted over us. Some of us will feel forced to stay longer hours and take on more responsibilities and then complain that work is becoming our entire life. Happiness is not based on making choices out of fear or insecurity. Happiness comes when we make choices based on what holds important to us in life. So if family is more important, make choices that support that priority, then be willing to digest both the positive and negative consequences of that decision.

Another situation: Say your boss asks you to prepare for a big presentation that will take place the next day. Your Choice: to prepare the presentation or not. This is an easy choice, we will chose preparing the presentation. Now let’s throw another element in this choice. Just as you sit to prepare, your closest friend come to your place and shows you tickets to a movie you have been longing to see. Here comes the major choice: to prepare for the presentation and not go for the movie or postpone the preparation for after the movie.

Almost everyone will choose going for the movie first, as we convince ourselves we have a lot of time and can easily work on the presentation after the movie. Let’s look at the desired and undesired effect of going for the movie first.

Desired Effect: we build on the relationship, reduce on the days stress, have some fun and entertainment and even building on some creative ideas for the presentation.

Undesired Effect: reduced time for the actual preparation, lack of sleep due to working late into the night, increased stress about the next day and the extent of content in the presentation, inability to call any person for clarification due to the late hours, increased stage fear the next day, insecurity about the outcome of the presentation and even cursing the friend for showing up at the worst possible moment.

Now if had chosen the presentation instead of the movie, all that would have happened is that we would not have ‘Fun’ or be ‘Entertained’ and all the undesired effects would move into the desired side.

Have we every told ourselves, ‘I wish I had known this earlier, I would not have made the same choice’ or ‘ I wish I could turn back time and change my choice’. Well we all know we can’t turn back time, but this action consequence model will help us evaluating the desired and undesired effects of any difficult choice we need to make.

However, even after careful evaluation we still chose to go for the movie first, we need to deal with the negative consequences as we would have made a conscientious decision.

It’s your Choice!!

Scaling my Everest: Overcoming Stammering and Stage Fear

Though there are over 70 Million people who stammer and stutter and many million more who have stage fear, while growing up I felt I was the only one. Like so many others I felt lonely, ashamed, embarrassed, inferior and completely lacked Self-Esteem.

For as long as I can remember I stammered, sometimes slightly and at other times I would freeze and totally give up. I would want to hide and not speak to people at all. I avoided people in corridors and on the phone, because I was scared of stammering and stuttering when I spoke with them. In fact, I would walk the other way on seeing someone I need to wish. 

Saying “G..G…G…G…G…G…G..G….G…. good M..M..Morning” was no fun at all.

Never in my wildest dreams did I think, that one day, I would be a public speaker and make a living addressing many people.

Well, Let me tell you how I Scaled my Everest:

I was a shy, timid little kid who stammered whenever put in a spot or in the limelight. For years I wondered whether that shy, timid little kid who stammered, was shy and timid because he stammered or stammered because he was shy and timid??

Is it the problem that creates the mind-set or the mind-set that creates the problem?

While growing up I made myself believe the former and therein lay the problem; however, my life turned around the day I began to believe the latter.

 The 98-2% Principle

This is the Belief Principle that guides all the others. Without this belief no other holds ground. So what do I mean by this.

Well simply put….. 98% of all obstacles and problems are in the head, and the real problem is just 2%. 

It starts with your own belief in being able to overcome that mental obstacle in front of you. Once you truly believe, then 98% of the work is done and the rest remains in executing and following through on your belief.

Of course this is easier said than done, one needs to maintain the belief through all difficulties, failures and challenges one faces en route. 

Sometimes one can do everything right and still not see the light at the end of the tunnel, and here is where one needs to keep the faith and “bash on regardless”. 

Explore other ways of overcoming what’s in front, not because you have a ready-made solution to fix it, but as you believe it can be done.

Positive Self-Talk and Brainwashing

Once the first barrier of the mind is conquered one needs to build Self-confidence and belief in oneself. Many people say that confidence is the key to it all; however, very few talk about how to build it.

If I were to suddenly ask you the following questions:

• What makes you important

• What makes you competent

• What makes you likable

• What makes you successful

How long would it take you to answer these questions?

The trick is in making yourself aware of your strengths and also building on them by creating action plans to make oneself more Important, Competent, Likable & Successful.

Are they at the tip of your tongue? 

The fact is that most of us spend far too much time and energy focusing on the other end of the spectrum. 

We tend to ask ourselves 

“Why am I not important to them? 

Why am I not able to do……..? 

Why doesn’t he / she like me? 

Why don’t things go my way?”

The answers to these questions are normally de-motivating and demoralizing.

It is important for each one of us to remind ourselves and build on the following affirmation statements:

• I am important because……
• I am competent because…..
• I am likable because……..
• I am successful because…….

So how this work is, maintain a diary and every week write down what you did that made you more important, competent, likable or successful. If you don’t have anything to write, don’t lose hope instead create an action plan for how you will better answer these questions next week. Thus, building on strengths and finally confidence.

Now, whenever you are low on confidence or need a “Pick me up”, all you need to do is read your diary and I guarantee you will get a boost. 

This method of constantly reminding oneself of one’s strengths using affirmation statements is called Positive Self-talk and brainwashing yourself to look at the strengths in you.

Speaking slowly and pausing

The next step is to reduce your rate of speech and ensure that you have a slow and measured way of talking. 

• Start with some reading practice and bring your rate of speech down to at least 140 words per minute.

Some of the best orators like Narendra Modi, Barack Obama, Martin Luther King Jr, Adolf Hitler, Sushma Swaraj, Atal Bihari Vajpayee, etc are a perfect example of slow measured speech, using pausing and pace for effect.

While this helps with overall impact of the way a person speaks and sounds, it gives a person time to think ahead and plan what he or she is saying.

Most people who stammer and stutter are usually trying to say things in a hurry lest they forget. This way of speaking tends to become a habit and thus our words have a tendency to come out tumbling and stumbling over each other. 

Just imagine if all the students in a school decide to come charging out of a single door the moment the school bell rings. 

Can you envision a scenario where there are many kids stuck in a doorway? 

Well that’s exactly what happens to our speech when everything tries to come out at once.

The best ways to reduce the speed or Rate of Speech is 

• To practice reading children’s books. 
• Add the drama and expression in the story, as that reduces the speed even further
• Time yourself and be happy once you start reading consistently at about 120 words. 
• If you read at 120 you might bring speech down to about 140-150.
• To be able to effectively do this the last point plays a critical role.

Effective Breathing

The average person takes about 15-18 breaths in a minute. Try it without consciously slowing down.

• The aim is to be able to bring it down to 3-4 and average it out to about 7-8.
• Reducing your rate of speech is directly related with your breathing pattern. 
• Instead of trying to say all we can in a breath, we should use our pauses and punctuation for breathing; short breaths at comas and longer breaths at full stops.
• A stutter normally occurs when the vocal chords are stressed and stiff. Effective and regular breathing reduces stress in the body and vocal chords. 
• Whenever one gets stuck or feels a stammer or stutter coming, take a short pause, a deep breath and you will immediately feel the body and vocal chords relax, thus, freeing the voice.
• Good deep breaths also help in providing oxygen to the brain. When we are stiff and not breathing freely the mind tends to go blank due a lack of oxygen to the brain.
• Yoga breathing techniques are very helpful in creating a good breathing pattern and rhythm.

These points are not the only things that I did or feel are needed to overcome stammering and stage fear. 
However, I do feel these are the most important and critical, and were instrumental in me “Scaling my Everest”. In fact the first 2 points are universal to overcoming any obstacle or challenge in life.

So what is your Everest? What is holding you back? What do you want to achieve?

Do you need someone to talk you through it? 

Connect with me and I can share more insights on overcoming any challenges you might have.