Building your Influence Personality- by Shohrat Shankar

08:35

Today Influencing as a skill is becoming more and more important and critical. Where earlier people or departments would work in Silos and were more hierarchical; today that has changed to a lot of cross functional dependence and flatter structures where authority or position doesn't always get the desired response from people .

The ability to effectively Influence is needed in many scenarios:

• Presenting a new idea , initiative or plan in a conference or board room
• Discussing and persuading others during a meeting
• Convincing peers
• Convincing the supervisor for something new
• Gaining commitment and ownership from reporters

Influence doesn't happen in vacuum, many people complain that nobody in their group listens or pays heed to what they are saying.  Many of us generally face the same problem time and over again.

How many of us can relate to a time when we were trying to share a view in a group, repeatedly trying to speak, starting a few words... and somebody else kept butting in and acting as if you were, either not there or not saying anything of consequence.

Often when that happens we react in one of 2 ways:

• By keeping quiet and feeling that nobody cares about what we have to say. This leads us to reduce contribution in discussions and avoid presentations or just always believing the "boss is always right"
• By getting angry, raising our voices and demanding to be heard. Leading to conflict with our peers, getting into arguments with managers or becoming an autocratic or dictatorial leader.

What upsets us even more is that within the group there will be some who will be given the attention of all, without them having to make much of an effort to be heard. In fact, people will look to that person for a view, even when he/she doesn't want to share one.

So what is it that makes this person an  influencer without even trying that hard? 

How do I get people to sit-up and pay attention when I speak?

Like many others I used to be one in the crowd who faced just the same issues. Below are some things that worked for me and each one of us can do to build a personality that gets people to sit up listen!!

1. Be credible

The important thing to remember is that my credibility and trust within the group is the first thing people subconsciously refer to when I speak. Thus, if I have built an image of being trustworthy, reliable and dependable then de facto my views suggestions and ideas are looked at in the same way.
So what affects my credibility and makes me trustworthy, reliable and dependable?

• During day to day interactions do I give thought before speaking
• Do I follow through and fulfill my commitments
• Can people depend on me

2. Grab opportunities

Building an influential personality is more than just credibility, it is also about grabbing opportunities that come up and showing ones influence on situations and events around. Very often we wait for opportunities to come to us and many valuable opportunities pass us by. It is critical to keep our eyes and ears open for areas, situations and events where we can influence the outcome and thus make others aware of us and what we can do.

It could be an opportunity to deliver a presentation, arrange an event, organise and chair a meeting or an open forum to share your idea or view points. The challenge is many of us shy away from such opportunities and then wonder "why people don't sit up and listen to us"

3. Take responsibility & ownership

At times when I need to work with others, In situations when someone else has grabbed the opportunity or stepped up; the ownership or responsibility I take for a team goal reflects on my character and connect with the bigger picture. How hard I work to support others, how involved I get even if someone else might get the credit, shows others that I care more for the team goal and bigger picture than just my own interests. That will get me an element of respect from the group that automatically translates into an ability to influence the group more easily where & when required.

4. Step up

Often there are situations where no one is willing to "bell the cat". This is an ideal situation for a person to Step up and take the initiative on something. It is a chance to step into the spotlight and shine. Of course there are risks involved, there will always be questions that we ask ourselves.

What if it fails? What if things don't go according to plan? What if I make a fool of myself in the bargain?

The point is ....Those who have the courage to Step up and work out ways to give it their best shot will always be looked up to. Sometimes they will succeed and at other times fail. However, people will always look up to them for the courage they showed when others were unwilling.

So when are you going to STEP UP!!

The Beauty of Procrastination - By Namita Parikh

Procrastination is often considered a shoddy and tardy habit that, one is advised to lose immediately. We are constantly told that procrastination doesn’t make life easy for us and it just increases our stress levels.  Generally, I would grudgingly agree because yes, it does make sense. Except, you see, I am a procrastinator and I feel sometimes I work splendidly because of that.

You may say I am defending my habit of procrastination but I would like to show you that I might be right. Being a psychologist and content developer, I know all about the theories proving procrastination doesn’t help anyone. It is a waste of time and money. However, it’s a fact that not everyone has the same attention span. For example, my attention span is lesser than most people. So when I am assigned a task, I start working diligently but say 30 – 45 minutes into it, I need to stop or divert my attention from the fear of being saturated with the topic and not be able to give my best. With my attention diverted, I will invariably wander to the “treacherous and dangerous depths” of internet distraction or a good novel. One link always leads to another and at least 10 - 15 minutes are wasted.

But, here is the thing, no information can be good or bad, it’s what you do with it gives it power. You never know what information your brain retains. Unconsciously or through subliminal perception, our brain takes in information and creates new pathways of divergent thinking. It questions the stupid and random. Sometimes the questions in itself are stupid but you still get answers. 

Now you are wondering, how is any of this relevant? So after 20 minutes of procrastination, when you go back to work, you have a fresh outlook to what needs to be done.  As Bluma Zeigarnik (a Russian psychologist) found, that we tend to remember unfinished work better than completed tasks. We tend to work more efficiently when we leave a task midway and get back to it. Moreover, your jaunt into procrastination, refreshes your mind and sometimes gives you a fresh perspective.

 I see how my present argument makes procrastination as the ‘hero’ to my success but like most concepts not all forms of procrastination are healthy. Like almost everything these days, there are degrees to procrastination. You could be any of the following:

• Passive procrastinator: A person who puts off the tasks and doesn’t do anything in the interim. Ex: Important article to write but chooses to laze in bed. (Unhealthy)
• Chronic procrastinator: An individual who procrastinates in all walks of life. It could be at home, work, school, booking tickets for vacations, movies, music concert. (Severely Unhealthy)
• Active procrastinator: Someone, pushes a task because, s/he needs to prioritize other work. You may have to push a said task because other stuff is more important. (Healthy)

What I am stressing on is active procrastination. The right kind of procrastination actually results in:

• Divergent Thinking

While rummaging through the internet/ music and any other distractions, youcome across a varied mass of information. This creates divergent thinking pathways in the brain. To be more clichéd, it assists “out of the box” thinking. Often, I have come up with activities for training sessions because of my habit to procrastinate. An idea once popped up because I was watching, the “Friends” episode, where the girls lose their apartment to the boys over a quiz.

• Realising one’s Passion

Generally, if you evaluate and observe the tasks that usually one procrastinates, you will find a pattern. There will be set of tasks that you always procrastinate. This will help you identify where your passion doesn’t lie. Sometimes, it can assist you in recognizing tasks that you feel least confident about which then can lead to you creating an action plan on how to boost your confidence.

• Importance of a task

Sometimes, we tend to push a task to later as something is more important urgent. It might just happen that the task isn’t as important urgent as it would have been a couple of hours.

While I don’t deny that, procrastination doesn’t always help. But, like everything, we can monitor procrastination. Recently, I read an article, “Why I taught myself to procrastinate?” in the Sunday review of the New York Times written by a journalist who claims to be a pre-crastinator. The journalist had an excellent way of creating threats for you as a tool of monitoring procrastination. He suggested, as a form of control, try telling yourself if you procrastinate a task beyond a pre- decided point then your action will promote something you hate. For instance, you abhor the idea of fur coats, then you can say if I don’t do this by 5:00pm then my account would have automatically bought a fur coat as form of punishment. The guilt of going against what you strongly believe in, can make you do wondrous things.

So like Calvin, you could accept the way you work and become an active one. Stop feeling guilty and embrace it. You could try making it your super power and wield it to create something beautiful and diverse.

Is Something Missing In Our HR Departments? - By Shamika Khatawkar

Dear Reader,

I am sure most of us on reading the title of the blog will be curious to find out as what is really missing in our HR departments…hold on for a while…as we proceed we will surely uncover what it is
. 

Change is inevitable! Every field no matter which it is, undergoes a series of change as it evolves; it is this change which broadens the scope and applicability of the field. The same goes for the field of Human Resources as well.

If we trace its development, we can broadly see that the field emerged as the ‘welfare department’ within factories, which then transformed to the ‘personnel department’ and finally to the ‘Human Resource Department’. With every transition, the focus of the field has been redefined.

If we see HR departments today, there is a considerable shift, where employees are not merely employees; but more of a ‘Resource’ and their ‘Performance’ is not merely performance in quantitative or qualitative terms but ‘Something beyond that’.  

So what is ‘something beyond that’, which organizations crucially consider along with an employee’s performance? 

Give it a guess…it’s not that difficult. 

 OK

…here it goes, it’s an Employee’s Behavior!

Yes, It is! 

Now if we relate back to the field of Human Resources, we can certainly identify that today, organizations are laying heavy emphasis on ‘Measuring Behavior’ along with one’s performance.

Organizations are recognizing the importance of mapping behavioral competencies across roles and levels and are also making competencies a part of their Performance Appraisal Systems. 

Organizations are also relying on using ‘psychometric tools’ for ‘n’ number of reasons. Attitude Surveys, Climate Surveys, Engagement Surveys have become a common practice.

They are striving hard to identify why employees behave in a particular way; what are the factors that motivate positive behavior and so on. Along with that they are also tackling several behavioral as well as psychological concerns of their employees within the workplace, such as low level of satisfaction, motivation, low morale, boredom etc.

Keeping all this as a background, now the question arises that: Does an organization or the HR department have someone certified, qualified or trained in the Behavioral Sciences.

Someone who is trained to know, what to look for and how to look for it, within an organization? One who has studied human behavior and the psyche; hence is well equipped within the organizational context to deal with areas pertaining to Behavior. 

May be a few organizations would state that they do have a behavioral specialist to cater to this need. However, I am sure there are many more who will acknowledge that, “This is what is missing in our HR departments.” 

What do you feel? 

   

Powering Up For That All Important Interview !! - BY ROHIT MANOHARAN

Like it or not, there have to be efforts put in for ensuring that your interview goes off well and a lot of it is to do with preparing your mind and body rather than going through tons and tons of syllabus based text material, etc.

One of the most commonly made mistakes is the last minute reading up on the technical subjects which one is expected to face in the interview. We tend to completely or at least partially ignore the behavioral aspects which actually play a very important role in the way we deal with situations and pressures in the interview process. As a matter of fact, a lot of us forget that who we are is what plays a very important role rather than worrying about what we tend to show we are !!

A very famous saying goes like this : "Our financial condition is determined to the tune of 85% basis our ability to present, communicate, impress and command, just about 15% of it is determined by which college or school we attended and what our technical expertise might be."

However, due to our old school thought process of trying to prepare for interviews we tend to ignore the behavioral aspects for which we end up paying a heavy price in the interview. Here's what we can do for starters to ensure that we look and feel good and are aligned to the right thought processes during the interview :

* Know your personality type, enough of web sites available out there which can help you with that piece of information

* Understand how you react to various negative situations, do a quick SWOT Analysis of yourself. Friends and family can help you with that

* Ensure that all the features which are listed as your Weakness and Threats are well shadowed during the interview process, these things can impact your decision making and can weaken the interview to a large extent

* Learn to manage anger and frustration, this is important because each and every person has a different way to deal with these emotions basis their personality types

* Listen to yourself speak by recording your voice and try voice modulation basis what sounds or does not sound good to you

* Focus on mirror techniques to know your body language (refer to my previous articles on this)

* Take feedback positively and DO NOT try to justify your weak points

If you follow the pointers given above rigorously, there's a very high chance that you would be able to overcome your weak points and be able to deliver the results in a positive manner. Knowing yourself is the best way to ensure that you do what's required to be done rather than waiting for someone else to point out and improve you.

Go for this improvement drive and I'm sure you will emerge a changed and a highly improved person over a period of time !!

Letting go of Control - By Eva Chawla

When you try to control everything, you enjoy nothing, sometimes letting go actually means having control. I’m sure the moment you have read this, you feel confused; how can letting go of control actually mean having it? Surrendering to what is, letting go of what was and having faith in what will be is the crux of our blog today.

Each person’s level of control differs and is primarily based on Extrinsic factors: The person your environment has molded you into or Nurture has endowed you with. This environment can be your family, friends, education, culture or your own interpretation of past life events. Based on these factors we design our own reality of control. For most of us this reality is kept in check when we believe a situation is working towards our expectations. However the real trouble come’s when we set expectation (whether real or unreal) about the present or future that does not seem to materialize. Its then that the little control monster living inside comes alive and decides to take measures that end up making the situation worse.

Let’s take a step back to evaluate why this happens; why do we hold on to things thinking ‘if I hold tight enough, it will come true’? Holding on to things and not surrendering to what is only creates a future that’s more messed up and validates your need to control eve n further (then we have a nervous breakdown).  It’s when we reach the absolute bottom and our life has spun so much out of control (control being the very thing we were trying to do in the first place) that we realize, things can’t be pushed or controlled. 

Say today I had the power to get whatever I wanted and all I want is an elephant, but the room I have is just big enough to sustain me and I’m not aware of that. What do you think would happen to me, my room and the elephant if this desire came true just because I wished it? Well I would get crushed and my house would be in shambles and in all probability I would blame the confused elephant for all my troubles. In reality I can’t wish things into existence, so I end up controlling my life and thoughts so much just to bring that elephant into reality. My control ends up tunneling my vision and clouding my judgment. All good things do happen with time and everything does happen for a reason. So there could be a reason behind me not getting my elephant that I may currently not be aware of.

Control is basically persistence without evaluation or introspection. So if you feel like things are not working out and people have started calling you obsessed or a control freak, you need to step back and evaluate yourself. When one door closes another opens, but if I’m so fixated on that one door I don’t see the opportunity of two elephants waiting for me behind the next.

So let me tell you 4 facts that a control freak like me accepted in order to become a recovering control freak:

• Fact 1: no one has control over the outcome of any situation 

• Fact 2:  No one can control how the other person feels, thinks, says or behaves

• Fact 3: Fear, uncertainty, self-doubt, ego/pride and lack of trust is food to

the controller inside.

• Fact 4: You only have control over what you feel, think, say and behave

Steps to becoming a recovering Control Freak:

1. Address the Causes of control taking over: Having working parents, I was

taught long ago to be self-sufficient. I started working after the age of 15 and looked after myself more often than never. Where on the positive side it made me a grown up faster and progress in my career at a very early age, it also showed me that I was the only one who could get the work done. It made me believe that ‘it was me against the world’ and only I could make my own reality. This actually made me lose trust in people and exponentially increased my pride and self-worth. So along with that, my fear of being obsolete increased as well; I used to think to myself ‘If I let go, what’s my purpose’. Each one of us would have experiences that made us into control freaks we are today. But its only after I addressed the causes of my insecurities, that I realized most of it was in my head

2. Ask yourself what would happen if…: My husband who then

was my boyfriend of many years asked me ‘What would happen if you let go?’. So I narrated a list of situations that would happen if I surrendered my control. His only response to most of them was “Really?”. I was still not convinced that my control was wrong. But when you have someone asking you ‘Really?’ enough number of times, you start asking yourself the question “What would happen if..?” before taking an action. Hence m y next step becomes really important: A buddy to remind you that you would still be valued even if you let go. Life carries on and your reality expands from a tunneled view to something that actually helps you grow as a human being.

3. The buddy system: It has taken me 5 plus years to become a recovering

control freak. This recovery would not be possible without a great support system who reminded me regularly to let go. It was not just my husband that helped me; my boss and even my team. I am sure any manager reading this must be wondering, ‘How can your team help you let go of control’. It is difficult only for 2 reasons: 1. Perception of losing one’s position and respect 2. Perception of not being required. At the end of the day, it’s a perception that stops you, because if it were a reality we would not have teams, organizations or the need for friends and family. But let me tell you one thing through experience: respect, position and being required is earned and not forced upon. The moment I allowed myself to let go, they stopped fearing me and we actually could call ourselves a team.

4. Identify the positives of letting go: This last step is an affirmation on

the reasons to continue letting go. Make a note of all the positives you have received personally, emotionally and mentally with letting go. Writing things down affirms your reasons for reformation.

There you have it my friends, the recipe to Letting go of Control and truly experiencing life.

Trivializing Training: BY LATIKA KAUL

Imagine this:

Your friend gets a brand new car and invites you for a drive. When you reach his house, you are awestruck at the sight of his brand new car. It’s shiny, black spotless paint is almost blinding and the smell of the interior leather is immensely inviting. You both finally sit in the car and your friend puts his key in the ignition. The roar of a new car. Wow! You relax and stretch yourself on the passenger seat and casually ask your friend.

“You didn’t even tell me, you were learning to drive and now suddenly a new car and license”

“I don’t have a license.”

“You don’t have a license?”

“No bro. Don’t know how to drive only, how will I get a license!!”

“WHAT?? You don’t know how to drive?”

“Nah. But I have played enough GTA, so don’t worry”

What will you do next?

If you will not leave the fate of your life in the hands of an untrained driver, why risk the life of your company?

Even though my experience in the training field is very limited, I often wonder why organizations even conduct trainings in the first place….

• Is it because while recruiting, employees were promised growth and development?

• Or, because they have some funds allotted for L&D, which need to be utilized?

• Or better yet, because of certain mandates?

The answers to all these questions should be a big NO, but sadly it isn’t.

Today, many organizations conduct trainings largely for the above reasons and in doing so they rob themselves and their employees of the many benefits an effective training program can offer. 

 Training will develop your employees’ skills. Skilled employees:

- Make lesser mistakes

- Require minimum supervision 

- Are better equipped to handle challenging situations. 

 Training can not only become a recruitment tool but also an effective retention tool. The youth today is not satisfied with a big paycheque. They want to develop and grow. As an employer, this trait can actually make your work even simpler. These employees will be more eager to attend training workshops, which will develop them and your organization. 

 An effective training program can help build trust of your employees in you. This, in turn, increases their job satisfaction, loyalty and reduces attrition. 

 Training can also add flexibility and efficiency. Employees can be cross-trained to become proficient in the different aspects of the organization. This will help keep them interested and will be extremely useful during times of vacant positions or absenteeism. 

 Training has become essential for knowledge transfer. In-house training, or trainings conducted by an experienced member of a team will ensure that there are enough people to take charge if the particular experienced person leaves the company. Mostly, trainings assure that both employees and organizations are not stagnant but always emerging and growing.

These benefits might provoke you to conduct trainings for the right reason. But that is not enough.

Trainings will be of no use until they are executed perfectly. This execution begins from initial planning but does not end at the completion of training. Yes, there is more to training than just arranging for a trainer and holding a two-day training workshop. Training continues even after the workshop is over, but not many organizations help in driving the post workshop training.

Even during training, employees face challenges such as:

- Urgent calls or emails

- Arriving late or leaving early due to work commitments

- Sudden meetings or clients that need to be attended to

- Attending programs which are not relevant for their particular roles

Training needs to be planned keeping the employee’s roles and competencies in mind. They need to be prioritized and arranged well so that the employee can attend the program without any baggage from work. Another important point that needs to be addressed is that of management and staff support. An employee can harness all the benefits of training only when his colleagues and his supervisors support him. These employees can be supported by:

 They should be able to focus on the training with undivided attention. This means no work related calls or emails.

 The management has to support the employees in practicing what they have learned in their training. This could mean giving them assignments that will help them inculcate their learned skills or behaviours. They need to be given time to effectively apply all that they have learned.

 Employees can be assessed on how well they apply their learned skills. This well help in keeping them motivated and can also provide a chance for the organization to assess how cost-effective the training was.

By considering the above points, a training program can be made more successful and valuable to the employees and to the organization. 

So, let us not trivialize a training program by conducting substandard TNA’s and hiring unqualified trainers.

Let us not trivialize a training program by randomly selecting a date for the workshop or by completing it as a compulsion.

 Let us definitely not trivialize a training program by trivializing its importance. 

Conducting an effective training program is a huge responsibility which if shouldered correctly will reap your organization a sizable yield. This responsibility will obviously require a great deal of effort. There is a 100% certainty of headaches and maybe some ulcers and perhaps what organizations avoid the most- “spending money”. But, once again please imagine this situation:

CFO asks the CEO: “What happens if we invest in developing our people and then they leave us?”

CEO: “What happens if we don’t, and they stay?”

Starting Off With A Great First Impression !! - By Rohit Manoharan

While the process of interviewing depends largely on the independent approach of the interviewer, there are few things that would make an immediate impact in case if you were to follow the same. 

Here are some handy tips on how you could make the interviewer think about giving you an upper edge over the others :

You need to make a conscious effort to smile when you enter the room and greet the person or people sitting in the room.

If possible try and get an understanding of how many people are there in the room.

This will help you decide sequence in which you would go ahead and greet them and also help you with the relevant eye contact

DO NOT sit down unless and until you are requested to, this shows good manners and etiquette

Hold out your hand in an open gesture for shaking and ensure that the hand is straight, at a 90 degree angle to the floor.

DO NOT tilt your hand inward or outward as that can reveal things about your personality which might begin to influence the interviewer even before you have started with the interview process

Once seated, thank the interviewer and ask him / her if you may share a copy of your CV with them ? Depending upon their answer take the next step.

DO NOT keep shuffling papers for long and make too much of noise around that activity as that might distract the interviewers and also lead to  certain level of irritation within them.

Once all of this is done, you are now ready to actually start with the interview process, keep your cool, stay steady, take a deep breath and start off with the process.

If you believe in yourself, you are bound to make a great impression, all the very best for that very important 1st interview of your life !!

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